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About Me Member Art Student David Conklin18/Male/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 29 Deviations
57 Comments
1,903 Pageviews

Visual Representation of Self

Newest

Feel free to look in my Gallery (Link's at the top of the page) if you like what you see here. Comments are always appreciated!

Winter Desktop

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Savannah, GA
  • deviantWEAR sizing preference: 3X
  • Print preference: 13x19
  • Interests: Computer Games, Graphic Design, Website Development, My Music, Friends, etc.
  • Favourite movie: Up
  • Favourite band or musician: Owl City
  • Favourite genre of music: Power Pop/Alternative
  • Favourite artist: Monet
  • Favourite poet or writer: Margret Atwood
  • Favourite style of art: Vector/Vexel
  • Operating System: Leopard (Yay a Mac!)
  • MP3 player of choice: iPod Video
  • Wallpaper of choice: _PANIC_ by ABRES
  • Favourite game: Final Fantasy XI
  • Favourite gaming platform: PC
  • Favourite cartoon character: Lelouche Lamperouge
  • Personal Quote: Carpe Diem
  • Tools of the Trade: Adobe Phototoshop, Flash, Illustrator, Painter Seven! WACOM Tablet!

Apathetic

Fri Aug 21, 2009, 4:51 AM
I think I'm a masochist.

It seems to me that I don't want myself to be happy. That the only time happiness seems to do me any good is when I don't have it. As soon as I get any type of mental or physical satisfaction they joy goes away. I guess it's the chase of the happiness that I need, not the happiness itself. This is a revelation I've recently come to, and it both makes me happy and severely depressed at the same time.

It's almost paradoxical, the only thing that keeps me going, gives me a reason to get out of bed in the morning is the fact that I'm not happy. Happiness just makes me feel indifferent.

I'm sitting here, three weeks before starting college and moving away from home, with a beautiful girl asleep upstairs and I don't feel anything. My hope is that the happiness is just too much for me to take in all at once. There's so much going on that I should be excited about, but I just don't feel good nor bad about any of these life-changing events.

Maybe I'm just severely over or under stimulated. Maybe once I get back into a schedule (i.e. going down to school or getting a job) I'll be able to think more clearly. During the school year I crave this sense of freedom, where I don't need to be anywhere at any given time, but as soon as I get what I want, I change my mind.

I hate being like this, it drives me fucking crazy. I want to just live my life without being jerked in every fucking direction all at the same time. I want to know what I want. I want to know what I should do to keep myself and the person I really care about happy.

Maybe I need a religion or a better belief system, something to keep my head straight and guide my actions better than the "what if" system of Trial-and-Error that I have now.

I don't know, I guess only time will tell.

  • Mood: Worried
  • Listening to: Silence
  • Drinking: Arizona Pomegranate Green Tea

deviantID

Hey there -- My name is David. I live in North-East Ohio. I'm a seventeen year old highschool senior who has been dabbling in computer art throughout highschool. I'm planning on going to University for Graphic Design next year.

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:iconicy-mystic-warrior:
hullo random deviant

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"DON'T SAY THAT,IKE! DON'T SAY THAT WORLD!! I'VE BEEN THERE AND IT'S EVIL!" -Pit
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"I'll rip you to shreds, Nintendo Reject!"-Toadette cosplayer in a skit
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"So, that's Princess Marth."Me
"PRINCE Marth."Sis
"Oh..." Me
:iconhugo-gallery:
Excellent gallery! Love ur style!!

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HUGO Create Graphic Contest Round 10 // Theme: SimpliCity // For more info & to participate, surf to [link]
:iconeridak:
Where you go...? ;_;

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I'd love to write something generic in this.
:iconchikala-stock:
thanks for the fav :)

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Check out my art account :) *Shas-sephira
:iconalwaheed2007:
You are a Random Deviant :)

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Member in : " Check My Journal "
:iconehra:
THX for the fav :love:
:iconhi-hello-goodbye:
:sheepish::sheepish::sheepish::sheepish::sheepish::sheepish::sheepish::sheepish::sheepish::sheepish:



SHEEEEEP!

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g a l l e r y :pointr: [link]
e t s y :pointr: [link]
:iconwebby85:
Heya! Thank yuo veru much for the favourite! :hug:
Have a nice day! ;)

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~I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.
:iconchinchikurin:
Thank you for the watch ^^ :hug: i'll return the gesture ^^

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Nipples..... Man Nipples..........Mipples.......8D
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"Now if you dont mind, im trying to watch Jack Sparrow run like a twat." Me, watching PotC
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~Chan-Fan

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